No more Mask

Where are you?  I need you tonight.  Why I never count on you to be here when I need you?  Why do I feel like you only want to be around when it benefits you or you decide you want to be here?  You argue that I do not talk enough, maybe the answer is you do not listen to what I have to say.  When I do talk I feel like I am falling on deaf ears.  I have spent the majority of my life having to edit what I think, what I say, what I feel.  I have spent my life trying to please everyone.  I am finally starting to believe that my happiness has always been put on the back burner.  I want to be able to be happy and not have to constantly bend in order to keep those around me happy.  I feel like I give and give and still get used.  I am told that I am too down, too this or too that.  What can I say?  I am jsut me.  I have my own thoughts and feelings.  What do I need to do in order to show that my feelings cannot be changed?  I feel what I feel.  I refuse to put on a mask anymore.